15 YEARS OF SEVERE PAIN
A middle-aged woman, Petra we will call her, had been suffering from daily severe pain in her left shoulder for 15 years. The symptoms had arisen suddenly during a meditation retreat where she was trying to find relief from severe tension symptoms. These had developed after the birth of her infant daughter (crying fits, panic attacks, as well as perfectionism and eating problems). Cognitive and behavioral therapies and medication sometimes seemed to help somewhat, but had failed to relieve her of her tension and anxiety. The queue of doctors, physical therapists and other healers mostly told her that she was too sensitive, that her vagus nerve was overstimulated, and that she needed to calm down with non-directive methods such as meditation.
Insights during the intensive
In the PRI Intensive, the second session revealed that Petra’s mother, in addition to being a warm sweet woman, suffered from severe anger attacks at times in which she hit Petra very hard on her shoulder. She then walked away, leaving the frightened Petra behind, not understanding what she had done to deserve this. In a subsequent session, it emerged that her mother also left occasionally, when she was very angry, while Petra had no idea when she would return home. In the fourth session, Petra learned that she had been terrified that it was her fault and that she wondered if she would ever come back.
When Petra could feel that the outbursts of anger with physical aggression, and the departure of her mother, had both been completely unexpected for the girl she was, plus that her mother could usually be just that, enormously warm and loving toward her, only then did it become clear to her why the shoulder pains were being conjured up all over the place.
Actually, she was always “on
After all, at any moment she could do something “wrong” and thus incur the wrath of the other. Whether it was an app coming in, or a bathtub in the hotel room threatening to overflow, or people watching her at the gym; it constantly evoked the feeling of having to be alert.
After the third session Petra was able to reverse the situation that activated her anxiety and thus the shoulder pain. I.e. she was able to feel this through to the past, knowing what was true in the now (nothing going on) upon which miraculously her shoulder was able to relax. This Petra experienced as a wonderful first step.
How to proceed after the intensive?
For now, Petra will continue to observe herself, and when the pain resurfaces, do a reversal so that present and past can be separated. For the child she was, the world perished when her mother was so angry and hit her or left the family. For the adult she is now, there is nothing wrong if she did something wrong once, after all, we all do. The importance of patience and compassion with oneself in this process is paramount. Petra’s complaints were not solved in an Intensive, but the cause has become clear and Petra has a concrete tool in her hands and, if necessary, support from a PRI therapist to address and resolve her complaints in a focused way.
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