15 years of severe pain
A middle-aged woman, we'll call her Petra, had been suffering from daily severe pain in her left shoulder for 15 years. The symptoms had arisen suddenly during a meditation retreat where she was trying to find relief from severe tension complaints. These had arisen after the birth of her daughter (crying fits, panic attacks, but also perfectionism and eating problems). Cognitive and behavioral therapies and medication seemed to help sometimes, but had not been able to rid her of her tension and anxiety. The line of doctors, physical therapists and other healers mainly told her that she was too sensitive, that her vagus nerve was overstimulated and that she had to find peace with non-regular methods such as meditation.
Insights during the intensive
In the PRI intensive, it became clear in the second session that Petra's mother, in addition to being a warm, loving woman, occasionally suffered from severe anger attacks in which she hit Petra very hard on her shoulder. Then she walked away, leaving the anxious Petra behind, not understanding what she had done to deserve this. In a following session, it emerged that her mother also occasionally left when she was very angry, while Petra had no idea when she would come home again. In the fourth session, Petra realized that she had been terrified that it was her fault and that she wondered if she would ever come back.
When Petra could feel that the outbursts of anger with physical aggression, and the departure of her mother, had both been completely unexpected for the girl she was, plus that her mother could usually be enormously warm and loving towards her, only then did it become clear to her why the shoulder pains were evoked at every turn.
In fact, she was always 'on'
After all, she could 'do something wrong' at any moment and thus get the anger of the other person on herself. Whether it was a message that came in, or a bath in the hotel room that threatened to overflow, or people looking at her in the gym; it constantly evoked the feeling of having to be alert.
After the third session, Petra was able to reverse the situation that activated her anxiety and thus the shoulder pain. I.e. she could feel this through to the past, know what was true in the now (nothing wrong) whereupon, miraculously, her shoulder could relax. Petra experienced this as a wonderful first step.
What next after the intensive?
For the time being, Petra will continue to observe herself, and when the pain returns, do a reversal, so that the present and the past can be separated. For the child she was, the world perished when her mother was so angry and hit her or left the family. For the adult she is now, there is nothing wrong if she would do something wrong once, after all, we all do that. The importance of patience and compassion with oneself in this process is of great importance. Petra's complaints have not been resolved in an Intensive, but the cause has become clear and Petra has a concrete instrument in hand and, if necessary, support from a PRI therapist to tackle and resolve her complaints in a targeted manner.
More information about a PRI intensive?
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